Things I wish someone had told my 20 year old self

 

Oftentimes, you must be feeling that you wish that you knew some things earlier so that you could do those things better. Currently, I'm 23 and when I look back now, I also feel the same. Based on my little experience with life, I'm sharing some pieces of advice which can help you. While it's true that we can learn from our mistakes but life is too short to learn from our mistakes so try to learn from others' mistakes too!

This might be a long read but I can assure you that it's worth it.

 Make your health a priority

There is no point of having millions in your bank account if you are not healthy enough to enjoy your life. You would feel that you can do anything if you are healthy. So treat your body like a temple.

Don't stress out too much

Stressing out about pretty much everything is totally not worth it. Over 95% of scenario you are imagining in your head would never happen in reality. Worrying isn’t going to make it any better and not to mention its negative impacts on your mental and physical health. So worry less and enjoy more. Just trust the process and do what is needed, everything else will be taken care of.

Make the best use of college

College is not just for attending lectures. There also exists a world outside the academia which would teach you far more than books. College is the best time to come out of your shell. Learn how to talk to the opposite sex, learn public speaking, learn how to cook. Most importantly, make contacts as skills alone are not sufficient to find a job. Contacts will increase the probability of getting the opportunity to prove your worth.

Get your basics right

Eat nutritious food, fix your sleeping schedule and make it a habit of exercising at least 5 times a week. Just like a good foundation is necessary to support a structure, these habits will form a foundation for a good life. Just follow the above mentioned things and more than half of your problems will disappear.

 Be a well-rounded person

Yes, grades are important but it is equally important to have an overview about the world around you. Eventually these are the things which will help you to develop your personality and would be useful to you in ways you never imagined.

 Read as much as possible

Make it a habit to read books daily. Read about anything that interests you. Doesn't matter how much you read but make sure to read daily. It would teach you to think critically and open the doors to endless ideas that can change your life for the better.

Give a damn about your mental health and speak up when required

Have at least one friend in your life with whom you can share your deepest pains without any shame. Keeping everything to yourself would eat you alive. Don't be so hard on yourself always. Just because you fail sometimes doesn't mean that you haven't done your best. You are doing enough, remember it.

Don’t be afraid to piss people off

If you want to do something but are afraid to do so just because someone would not like it, then do it anyway. Because no matter what you do, there will always be people who would criticize you or wouldn’t be happy with what you did. Don’t be afraid to disappoint people when it comes you. You are under no obligation to make everyone happy. Remember you live for yourself, not for others. Once you become okay with pissing people off (when it is really needed), your life becomes way simpler.

 Learn how to be confident

Confidence is one of the must have quality in life. If you are having difficulty in developing confidence, at least learn how to fake it. Having a confidence can make you immensely attractive. Remember that having confidence can make up for many things you don't possess.

 Learn how to be happy

If you have money, fame, success but you're not happy, you've failed at life but if you're able to keep yourself happy in any situation, you've won. Failures and success are part of life which will teach you something every time but understand that there is no point of life. Ultimately it’s only the experiences that count. When you will be lying on your deathbed, you wouldn’t remember how many times you succeeded or failed but you would only remember experiences you have had, risks you had taken and adventures you did with your friends. All of our existence is a result of a mistake so don't try to find logic in everything. The only purpose of life is to be happy.

 Stop comparing yourself with others

Everyone has different stories. Don't use someone else's scale to measure your line. Nobody knows what you've gone through. If someone doesn't understand that and judges you wrongly, it's not your fault. Just remember that if you manage to do the best with whatever you have, you've succeeded regardless of what other people think.

 

Don’t be a part of a rat-race

When you graduate, some of your friends would be making more money than you, some would be making less and some would even struggle to find a job. Don’t feel inferior or superior. Just focus on your journey. You are not here to win any race. There will always be people who would have more intelligence, more money, more privilege than you. Don't feel sad for not having all of these as it's not in your hand. Make the best of what you’ve got.

 

Become financially literate

I can’t stress this enough. One of the best decision you can make in your 20s is to become financially literate. The most important thing you have going with you in your 20s is your age. Since you don’t have major obligations and responsibilities in this age, you can take risk. Start learning about mutual funds, stock market, compound interest and start investing. The earlier, the better. 

 

Fail earlier, fail often

We are taught from schools to not fail and that failing is a bad thing. I had read somewhere that ‘Fail early and fail often’ and I completely agree with that. In order to become wise, you need experience and that only comes from failing. Don’t worry about failing often, you only have to succeed once. People won’t remember your failures, they would remember your victories. 

Even when you screw up sometimes, you have time to recover from it as you are young. On the other hand, by not doing anything at all due to fear of failure, you will miss countless opportunities. Just keep failing but make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Keep learning from each mistake and improvise with each successive step and your progress would skyrocket.

Don't worry, you will get your dream job, you will find your passion and you will also fail sometimes. That's life. Don't worry unnecessarily. Just do what is required and enjoy the process, the rest would fall into place. Remember you are here to live and make memories, not to keep score of your wins-losses.

A letter to the world from a guy entering into his 20s

09/09/2019

Dear world,

I wanted to let you know that today, I've completed 21 years of my existence and you have witnessed my transformation from an infant to an adult.

I am writing this letter to you to pour out my heart. In this letter, I'll talk about my life till date and how my 20s is going to be like.

When I was a kid, life was fantastic. It was something like this... Eat....study....play....sleep.... repeat. Plain and simple. No problems, no tension of career, no heartbreaks, no break-ups. Even if I was hurt, I could cry whenever and wherever I wanted (nobody took me seriously back then tho!). I was unaware of what "mentally hurt" actually meant! Whenever I had any problem, my parents were the first to know about that instead of my pillow. Whenever I was angry at someone, I used to show anger. Whenever I didn't like something, I said it as it was. I used to say exactly what was in my mind. I was transparent and innocent. "Diplomacy" and "Decency" were unknown words to me.

If I talk about vacations, I actually played in all those without any worries. My parents used to take almost all of my decisions.

I thought that I could become anything. From a board topper to a rockstar. From a cricketer to an Actor. From a Dancer to an Astronaut. From a Doctor to an Engineer. My imagination knew no limits. Nothing was impossible for me. Because all of my wishes were being fulfilled by my parents, my innocent self believed that whatever we want in life, we can always get it. I didn't have any hardships (read it as "my parents didn't let me know about what hardships they were going through"). After dreaming about all this, my delusional self couldn't wait to grow up and do whatever he had dreamt of.

Then came my teenage life. It was awesome. Beginning of it was like something I never experienced. I started noticing some changes in my thinking pattern. Now, I liked being independent and having control over my decisions. I didn't like my parents' advice and being told what to do. I became a bit rebellious. Being with friends and doing crazy things with them was the things I wanted to do the most. And it had a reason behind it. At that age, we thought our parents didn't understand us properly and moreover, being at the same stage of life, I and my peers were going through the same things. We could understand each others' situations well and thus, we were on the same page.

Early teenage years were all good and fun. But 3-4 years after that, I was burdened with studies. I had some responsibilities now. This period made me realize that "Life is not that easy as I thought it would be". I realized that my parents won't be always there for providing me whatever I wanted. I have to fight and earn what I wanted. I also realized that it's not possible for me to be everything. I learned to see you <the world> for what you were, not for what I wanted you to be. I became more rational. Most of the (unrealistic) dreams I saw in my childhood were now shattered. It was painful but I moved on. So I can say that it was a crucial part of my life which converted me from a kid to a man.

Then I finished my teens and entered into my adulthood. (Yeah, finally that wait of becoming 18+ was over!) I finished school and entered college. Most of the school friends separated to carve their own path of life. Meeting the old friends was hard now which I took for granted in childhood. I felt amazing in the initial days of college. Those new friends, that independence and many things. I met persons from various backgrounds and I was amazed after knowing how different they were from me. I thought that college life will be way better than school life. But unlike school, no one in the college cared whether you attended the lectures or not. It was all your responsibility to study. Nobody spoonfed to you.

Now stress, anxiety, career confusion has become an integral part of my life. I see many young people who are very accomplished and dream of achieving great heights but at the same time, I often doubt my own abilities.

After witnessing the painful realities, sometimes I think that those unrealistic expectations of childhood were far better. Why did I grow up? Isn't there any time machine through which I can go back to my childhood and tell myself that "Hey, don't ever think to grow up. Your childhood is the best part of your life. It's never coming back so enjoy it as much as you can. You probably won't have this much stress free life ever again. Surely, you would have independence but trust me, you would crave for your current life but you won't be able to have it again."

I think the 20s is an interesting phase of anyone's life. The funny thing about my present age is, "I am an adult among the kids and kids among the adults." In other words, I am too old to do childish things but to immature to take any critical decisions. In a few years, I will see many of my friends being settled, getting married and having children, getting their first job and what not. In their 20s, kids are dealing with great pressure of completing their education, getting a job, settling down, finding themselves, exploring different things. If they are single, then they see other couples around them and wish (not all of them) if they were in a relationship, too. It is the age at which kids get to experience the real YOU<world>.

Currently, I have many dreams to achieve. I'm entering into prime time of my life. I'm ready to live the new phase of my life and face the challenges thrown by you. Let's see what you've got for me!


Your guest,
Akshay Brahmbhatt